Comfort Zones, Focus and Feeling New

When I came back from New Zealand, I made some critical decisions. Some of them were painful to make. Others were necessary. Not for today, nor for tomorrow.

The worst part about growing up is that people settle and become comfortable.

“Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.”
― Shannon L. Alder

Comfort doesn’t move the world forward.

But, being uncomfortable also doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is OK. There are two ways to react to being uncomfortable — one is fear and terror. The other is optimism and the desire to succeed.

The first option — almost always — will paralyze you and throw you into a downward spiral.

The second option — the more challenging of the two — will push your limits every single day.

Unfortunately, there is a very thin line between the two options. And going over the line in either way is an easy trap.

When I look back on every success story, it is riddled with anecdotes of rejection, failure and tough decisions.

As painful as it is, it is necessary. Over the past 10 days, I've narrowed my focus to a select few goals.

No longer am I taking calls at 5:30am to answer random questions. And no longer am I a sounding board about relationships, work problems or industry trends. Our group of companies are on the cusp of solving not one, but two large problems in e-commerce. That requires significant focus.

Just earlier today, I asked a client to email me again in September simply because I don’t have the ability to think about anything else at the moment.

I now wake up at 9am; go to the gym, grab breakfast and make it to my office by 11am. Only then do I check my emails and deal with the rest of the world.

Doing so consistently over the past few days has proved useful.

• One of my portfolio companies has listed me as a co-inventor on a geolocation patent. Thank you, Ryan + team.
• I have been rejected far more times in the past week than I have in the past few months. Which is a great thing, purely based on the law of numbers.
• I’ve spent my weekend doing things I am genuinely passionate about. This includes: photography, long brunches (4 hours!) and meeting with investors/advisors.

None of the above are glorious in anyway shape or form. But, I thoroughly enjoy building products.

“The best way to predict your future is to create it”
― Abraham Lincoln

Being in New York and being a startup founder forces you to run at a million miles an hour. In that time, people forget that the only thing that makes the world move forward is people. People that understand human nature. People that solve huge problems. And people that genuinely and truly care.

Being compassionate doesn’t mean being a pushover. It means understanding other people. It means remembering that people have feelings. One of my favorite books is Not Fade Away — A Short Life Well Lived.

Some people are born to lead and destined to teach by the example of living life to the fullest, and facing death with uncommon honesty and courage. Peter Barton was that kind of person.

Driven by the ideals that sparked a generation, he became an overachieving Everyman, a risk-taker who showed others what was possible. Then, in the prime of his life — hugely successful, happily married, and the father of three children — Peter faced the greatest of all challenges. Diagnosed with cancer, he began a journey that was not only frightening and appalling but also full of wonder and discovery.

Compassion is not about walking away. Compassion is about listening and caring for others. Compassion is not about acting superior when others are down. Compassion is about showing up with strong shoulders and open arms. Compassion is treating others well. And once you do, I can promise you that you will feel more than you have ever felt. And you and everyone else around you will be better off.

As uncomfortable as I am right now, the feeling of uncertainty and unknown is exciting. It reminds me of days where I made decisions without fear. But more importantly, it reminds me of results and work that I was proud of: two books, half-a-dozen books with credits, a magazine cover, a top-10 podcast, etc.

On: Startups, Love, Life and Loss

I’ve been trying to write a version of this article for roughly 3 years. Around that time, I had already kicked off and committed myself to PaLaCart. Unlike some commitments in my life, I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of making it successful.

The definition of success during that time has changed quite drastically. That term continues to evolve on a very frequent basis as I get to know myself, pursue my goals and live in a moment where everything is uncertain — except for the uncertainty.

I know just a few things — I know that tomorrow morning if I wake up, I’ll have a list of things to do. I know that when I go to bed tomorrow, I’ll have a list of things that I’ve crossed off my list, but also a bigger list than I originally started off with. I know that my nights are going to be spent sleeping, but also with thoughts and ways of finding success.

The morning after that, success might mean sleep.

The weekend after that, success might mean going to an office and meeting with only the people that I want to deal with — and no one else.

But, as someone who prefers to look at things in a long-term way, I know that success is a misnomer. Success doesn’t look like the famed hockey-stick chart. Success isn’t a destination. Success isn’t a day or date of accomplishment.

Success is a lot more than that.

Success is having the privilege of waking up in the morning, seeing the people you truly care about and enjoying every moment of every single day without having to worry about what tomorrow holds.

Because the one thing I’ve realized time over time is that tomorrow is not guaranteed. And not in the tragic way either.

As I’m about to draw on my 401k to fund my latest company, my definition of success today means survival.

And basic survival — to be able to eat and pay rent.

I try to live a life without any regrets. Doing that forces me to make decisions. It’s not about separating the good ones from the bad ones. It is about making them. Most days, I sit back, stare at screens, hide behind a keyboard and try to rattle off my plan for world domination.

In reality, that means realizing that it could all go away in a heartbeat. And that is not the scariest thing of all.

The scariest thing of all is to realize that life, no matter what, will go on. And it is your job to either strap in and go for the ride. Or to unbuckle your seatbelt right now and give up because you are too scared.

I’ve funded my companies in 3 different ways:

1. by writing personal checks
2. by asking my friends and family for money and
3. by drawing out all my savings.

And I keep asking why. Sitting in my seat isn’t easy. It isn’t romantic.

It is heart-breaking. It is depressing. Some days get so hard that it becomes nearly impossible to see past that day.

And then I keep thinking back to why. And the answer is simple — because I want it.

I want it more than anyone else.

I am willing to go through this because at the end of the day, it means the most to me.

I hate the romanticism of start-ups and founder struggle. Because you know what? It fucking sucks. Ask any single founder if they like it. They don’t. Because you know why? It is the hardest thing they will ever do.

Day in and day out, there are a few things that I focus on:

1. fundraising
2. product management
3. marketing

On the surface, that sounds incredibly simple. But, when you start looking into specifics — it is insanely hard work.

Did you know that you can only raise money from certain types of investors? Neither did I.

Did you know that in order to accept certain types of payments you have to submit a long application that may or not be approved by Visa / MasterCard? Had I known this earlier, I would have chosen a different path.

Did you know that starting from zero users and finding traction takes more time than most people want to spend? If I was aware of this, I would have raised more money the first time around.

And when you’re thinking about all of these things — it starts impacting your ability to do anything else. Your friends, who you once stood by — counseling them about their latest breakup or family emergencies — are gone.

Your family, who you saw or spoke to on a frequent basis thinks you’re chasing the wrong path.

Building something that you believe in a fool’s errand.

And at the end of the day, I’m willing to be foolish to pursue the one thing that means the most to me.

This is a screenshot that very few people have seen, but I’ve kept this more than most photos, more than most memories and more than most people.

Why?

Because that was the last day I was comfortable. To remind me that it was a new beginning. I made a very critical decision that day — I was going to all the way up or flame out into the sunset.

Most people I know of all ages are not willing to lose. They simply are stuck in this paradigm that if you accept a shitty situation, you’ll be fine.

It’s never fine. It’s never OK. That’s called giving up.

And those that give up are the ones losing not just one thing — they’re losing themselves. They’re falling away and apart. They’re dying.

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”

— Benjamin Franklin

When I walk away from things — it’s about making decisions.

It’s about those things that I know I want, but I also know I need to wait for them.

It’s about those memories that I need to create, but I also know that I need to earn them.

It’s about those victories that I celebrate, but I also know that they come after falling flat on your face.

And with that comes a vast variety of ups and mostly downs.

But, you know what?

I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. Not for an extra penny. Maybe the reason we lose first is so that we can do things that most people can only dream of doing.

This journey, that most people call life, is not about success. This journey is about hell of a lot more. It’s about winning when you’re down. It’s about escaping when you’re trapped. It’s about those moments that put the biggest smile on your face.

Do it because you love it. Do it because you can survive it. Do it for you — and just you. Don’t live for someone else. Not today.

So, to every entrepreneur who has gone through this and continues to go through this, I leave you with An Old Irish Blessing:

“May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

Slowing Down to Focus

One of the best parts about running a company is that you get to live, run and breathe at a hundred miles an hour. That means, you’re moving with speed and force that crushes obstacles and leaves competitors in the rear view mirror. 

And the results are blatantly obvious. In the past 2 years, across my companies, we have:

• Earned or raised in excess of $2,000,000 
• Pushed through legal obstacles by fighting large convoluted laws 
• Established trust and confidence in the ability to execute at scale

With that, comes a significant impact on everything - life, work, family and values. As with everything in life, some of it is good and some of it is bad.  

Being on the road for the past few weeks has been extremely important for me. Living in New York, you add a lot of layers of bullshit in your decision making process. 

Being on the road brings clarity. Some changes I’m sharing below. Others will be shared in a future update. 

Effective immediately:

• I will no longer invest in companies if I cannot have a material impact on the outcome. There’s simply no point. 
• I will no longer invest in people who are still employed or have a safety net. Comfort is the enemy of success. 
• I will no longer invest in people who haven’t experienced life - whether it is travel, adventure, a foreign language or international culture. These characteristics are critical to prove how one navigates the ever-changing landscape of startups.
• I am halting the publishing of my 3rd book. I do not believe I’m ready to write the most important chapter of my life - not just yet. 
• While I will always consider New York City home, it is time to move on. Later this year, I’ll be packing up a few bags and moving to Los Angeles. New York has been home for me for nearly 15 years. Every good thing has happened here. A lot of firsts. A lot of important decisions. I respect the hustle this city has taught me. But, it is time to add a second home.

Lastly, I realize I’ve been spread too thin. I need to breathe, sleep and enjoy more of why I work 18 hours a day. As such, I’m going to be spending a vast majority of my time at Poln. It has been growing at a significant pace and its time to guide that rocket ship to the next level. As such, my time on other projects and companies will significantly be reduced. 

There are a few more important decisions that have wide ranging consequences, but this is day 1 of my return to reality. None of these decisions are easy for me. But they need to happen. Otherwise I’ll be back on a treadmill to nowhere. 

For This

I'm sitting on an Airbus A380, operated by Emirates, the world's largest operator of these jumbo jets. I'm sitting in a first-class suite which features showers on board and a bar. I'm sipping a glass of Dom Perignon and later on, I'll be drinking Hennessey Paradis, the most expensive liquor in the sky.

I lean back, get ready for the jet to thrust into the air and take me home. I catch myself in the mirror in my suite and I have a huge smile on my face.

This is it. This is my life.

At some point in my past, I made 2 decisions. The first one forced me to walk away from everything. The second decision was to give up a very well paying job to build my companies.

These decisions meant not to accept small victories or instant gratification. But to fight for the things worth chasing. To commit all the way or to not bother at all. I made a decision to live life my way. And that's what I've done on this trip.

I produced my first video in a long time:

I captured stunning sunrises: 

And capped my days with jaw dropping sunsets:

I flew on the world's first commercial airline to offer an apartment:

And as this trip comes to an end, I'm excited to get back to the grind. There are a few large hurdles I need to cross amongst our group of companies. But, if the past is any indication - there's a way.

Nothing worth having is easy. Nothing easy is worth keeping. Every good thing in life takes 3 things: time, patience and perseverance.

And those that want it badly enough are the ones that get it.

Live well. Be well. Chase your dreams. And be strong enough to make them reality.

What You’re Taught and Why it’s Wrong

(A repost from nearly 3 years. Nearly every word still holds true.)

The past few weeks have been interesting. I’ve had severe setbacks in ventures and then great upswings. It’s a weird feeling, but it also reminds me of how different real life is than what school and professional institutions force into your head.

Elementary school:

Remember elementary school? Where they taught you A for Apple, B for Ball and C for Cat? When’s the last time you had an apple while playing ball with a cat? Never. Elementary school sets you up to dream. Yet, as people progress through life, the dream – whatever it may be – slowly starts dwindling down to the path of least resistence.

Middle school:

Middle school is where you start reading books. Not fancy Shakespeare just yet, but good books that are mostly inspirational and highly adventerous. Yet, there are so few people who pursue adventure in real life.

High school:

Remember when you snuck out of your house to do something fun that your parents didn’t want you to do? That was fun. Yet, most people don’t have fun – don’t pursue fun as they get older. They stick to their boring desks in a useless job and in their tiny apartments and just keep on working. Sneak out and go have fun!

College:

College is another animal. If you don’t have fun in college, you’re missing out. And yet, this point in your life, you’re independent, living in the crappiest location and have the least amount of money. Still, the fun never stops. 

Job: 

If you go through all the different types of schools and end up at just another job – you’ve already lost the game. Finding a job is great. Finding the right job is important. Many people find a job based on their professional degree. That should never be the case. Finding a job on your passion is far more important. A professional degree has a set path. If you’re satisfied with that path, fine. You’ll make a six figure salary in the next 15 years, you’ll take 2 weeks off every year to go to Florida or Mexico or some other pre-defined place – because that’s what every one does. 

But, take a look at everyone who is succesful and happy – they fought their way to be there. No one – ever – is going to give you the opportunity to succeed just by staying on one path. 

The “system” is broken. Companies don’t succeed, because people don’t like their job. People don’t like their job, because they don’t enjoy it. They don’t enjoy it because it’s not their passion.

Most people are talented. Heck, everyone is talented. Just do what you want. And don’t accept less than perfect. It’s not worth it.